So this week marks the end of the ISAT testing. Thank goodness. I don't know who hates it more-me or the students? The students were crazy as per usual during testing week. Not much changed on that front between third and sixth grade. We continued to work on our civil rights projects and work on TeenBiz. I've gotten so into the program and I'm hoping they will purchase it again for us as I really have seen a change in students.
We've had a lot of behavior problems this week. I'm having a hard time dealing with these behavior problems because I am having a hard time leading my team. I'm the oldest of the 3 of us but we're all within 3 years of age. I have more teaching experience which makes me the mentor. That was one of the parts that my principal entrusted to me when I accepted moving to sixth grade and I'm worried I'm failing. We have one student that's changing the environment for all students and I'm having a really hard time giving advice or guiding my team because yes, I have problems with the student but not as much as they do. It's not because I'm perfect-far from it-it's just that I'm much more strict and I don't put up with things. I don't allow students to walk around my class and I don't allow people to talk out without stopping instruction. I just don't. Never have, never will. I learned that from my cooperating teacher and it's the biggest thing that I've taken with me. I'm just feeling like a failure in leading them. Maybe it's been too much to be new to the grade level and also have a new team. Maybe it's been too much because of the age range. I don't know. I don't like feeling like a failure but I do. When i started teaching I had a great mentor that I could go to for anything and she told me the way it was. She was many more years into compared to me. I listened to her and did what she recommended. That's what I feel is missing. They don't want to hear it from me and I'm not sure why. I suggested a strategy that's working for me today and they just came back at me with what ifs. I'm not sure and it makes me crazy. I've tried so hard to be the leader and it just hasn't worked. I hate feeling like a failure but I do. I wish I knew if my principal felt the same. I'd like some input. I've tried very hard. Just frustrated that's all.
I've started reflecting on things that I would change about next year if I stay in sixth grade. I think I'm going to do a post about all the things I've thought of. I also don't know if I want to say I'll stay in sixth grade. I love love love teaching literacy only. I really need to list the pros and cons of each grade. There are things that I like and things that I don't like. I don't know if it's up to me actually. I just wish I knew where I stood. If my administration thinks I'm doing a good job or if they think I'm a failure as I'm kind of feeling. Not sure.
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